Creed - by Steve Turner

Here is a satirical poem called “Creed” by Steve Turner:


We believe in Marx, Freud and Darwin 
We believe everything is OK 
as long as you don't hurt anyone 
to the best of your definition of hurt, 
and to the best of your knowledge. 


We believe in sex before, during, and 
after marriage. 
We believe in the therapy of sin. 
We believe that adultery is fun. 
We believe that sodomy’s OK. 
We believe that taboos are taboo. 


We believe that everything's getting better 
despite evidence to the contrary. 
The evidence must be investigated 
And you can prove anything with evidence. 


We believe there's something in horoscopes 
UFO's and bent spoons. 
Jesus was a good man just like Buddha, 
Mohammed, and ourselves. 
He was a good moral teacher though we think 
His good morals were bad. 


We believe that all religions are basically the same- 
at least the one that we read was. 
They all believe in love and goodness. 
They only differ on matters of creation, 
sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation. 


We believe that after death comes the Nothing 
Because when you ask the dead what happens 
they say nothing. 
If death is not the end, if the dead have lied, then its 
compulsory heaven for all 
excepting perhaps 
Hitler, Stalin, and Genghis Kahn 


We believe in Masters and Johnson 
What's selected is average. 
What's average is normal. 
What's normal is good. 


We believe in total disarmament.
We believe there are direct links between warfare and 
bloodshed. 
Americans should beat their guns into tractors . 
And the Russians would be sure to follow. 


We believe that man is essentially good. 
It's only his behavior that lets him down. 
This is the fault of society. 
Society is the fault of conditions. 
Conditions are the fault of society. 


We believe that each man must find the truth that 
is right for him. 
Reality will adapt accordingly. 
The universe will readjust. 
History will alter. 
We believe that there is no absolute truth 
excepting the truth 
that there is no absolute truth.


We believe in the rejection of creeds, 
And the flowering of individual thought. 


If chance be 
the Father of all flesh, 
disaster is his rainbow in the sky 
and when you hear:


State of Emergency! 


Sniper Kills Ten! 


Troops on Rampage! 


Whites go Looting! 


Bomb Blasts School! 


It is but the sound of man worshipping his maker.

________________

I heard this poem for the first time during the talk "Is Becoming a Christian Committing Intellectual Suicide?" that Mark Dever gave at Georgetown University.

This poem is quoted in "Can Man Live Without God" by Ravi Zacharias.